“God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die."
~ Bill Watterson
“Find a job you like and you add five days to every week."
~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
“Unemployment is capitalism’s way of getting you to plant a garden."
~ Orson Scott Card
“Leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.” – Andy Stanley
“If owl parties aren't called hootenannies, this world will never make sense again."
- Reverend Badger
“There’s something boring about people who have to go to an office for a living."
~ Karl Lagerfeld
“Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there.” — Josh Billings
“You can’t have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic.” — Zig Ziglar
“I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.” — Homer Simpson
Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember, the only taste of success some people get is to take a bite out of you.” – Zig Ziglar
“I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. You know what thay means? You know what your boss was trying to say? It’s like, ‘Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.’” – Chris Rock
“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day!” — Anonymous
"Show me a man who is a good loser and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss."
~ Jim Murray
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?"
~ J. Paul Getty
“There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?” -Kin Hubbard
“The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished.” – Groucho Marx
“I’m not retiring, I am graduating . . . retirement means that you’ll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. It ain’t going to happen.” – Junior Seau
“What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” – Phyllis Diller
“The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches."
~ Bove’s Theorem
“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it.” — Groucho Marx
“Pride, commitment and teamwork are words they use to get you to work for free.” – Anonymous
“A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.” – Fats Domino
“I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.” — Henny Youngman
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey
“People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do.” — Elbert Hubbard
“Beat the 5 o’clock rush, leave work at noon.” — Anonymous
"The world is divided into people who do things–and people who get the credit."
~ Dwight Morrow
"Everybody makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when no one is looking."
~ Anonymous
“Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.” – Earl Nightingale
“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” — Leslie Nielsen
“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese
“Education cost money. But then again so does ignorance.” – Sir Claus Moser
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” — Oscar Wilde
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” — Robert Frost
“An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field.” — Niels Bohr
“I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.” – Anonymous
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
~ Drew Carey
“I believe in hard work. But, it will take some time to make this believe into a real thing!"
~ Anonymous
“The reward for good work is more work.” – Francesca Elisia
“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” — Charles Lamb
“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude McDonald
“Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way."
~ Homer Simpson
“Getting paid to sleep… that’s my dream job.” –Unknown
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?” — J. Paul Getty
"An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field."
~ Niels Bohr
"Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get."
~ Ray Kroc
“When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because . . . they had three snakes, and one day I braided them.” – Steven Alexander Wright
“My job is fun! I should change this line once in a while. My brain has started to realize that I am lying to it every morning."
~ Anonymous
“The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.” — Stanley J. Randall