Are you dessert because I'm finished.
"Hey baby, are you being followed? Because I've been seeing people behind your back."
"I now pronounce you dumped and single. You may now kiss my ass."
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
"I treated this relationship like my diet, one cheat day a week."
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
I think we need to become better strangers.
You look like my future ex wife.
Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so were you... but now the roses are wilted the violets are dead the sugar bowls empty and so is your head.
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the thin ice our relationship is on.
Hey, remember back when we were a thing… Yeah… Good times.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
My divorce attorney
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
I just can't take the bad s*x anymore.
Girl: Your ex is so attractive
Boy: Which one?
Girl: ME. Goodbye.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
"It's not you...it's your taste in music"
"If it's meant to be it's meant to be....but just to be clear it isn't."
I think we need to become better strangers.
There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met. Goodbye.
The mothership has returned and I must leave.
"You're perfect in every way, just not for me."
The Best Break Up Lines
Want to know a joke? Our relationship.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
It’s a good thing we’re bad at puzzles because there is no way we’re putting this shit back together.
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
What’s your sign? Mine is stop.
Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
We should make like your parents and split.
Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
Here, look at this blank piece of paper for a second… I wrote every reason why we should stick together on it.
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
"I'll always remember last night, but I think we can forget about tomorrow."
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.