Are there people following you?
Because I'm seeing someone behind your back.
Are you a computer technician?
Because you turn my hardware into software.
I have to say “Hi” to the prettiest girl in the room… can you help me say “Hi” to that girl over there?
Are you bad WiFi?
Because I'm feeling no connection here.
Woah! You look like I need a drink.
Your name must be trigonometry, because you make me want to cry.
My fridge is hotter than you.
If you were a math test, I would cheat on you.
You must sprinkle extra sugar in your cereal in the morning...
Why, because I'm so sweet?
No, because you're really fat.
Would you sleep with me for $100? I could really use the money.
Did you just fart?
Why, because I blew you away?
No, because you smell like sh*t.
Hey girl, are you a broom?
Why, because I swept you off your feet?
No, because you're really hairy.
I can tell what a woman drinks just by looking at her, and for you it's a diet coke.
I'd like to get you wet. At least long enough to get you back to the ocean.
When I see your face there's not a thing that I would change...
Do you like wine?
Because that's all your doing.
Are you a lumberjack?
Why, because I give you wood?
No, because you have masculine forearms and you're wearing Wranglers jeans.