Why did the dragon cross the road?
He was dragged on by his mum.
Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
Why did the lion cross the road?
He was bored of lion around.
Why did the potato run across the road?
So it wouldn’t get mashed.
How did the sheep cross the road?
It ram across.
Why did the horse dance while crossing the road?
He was horsing around.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was Thanksgiving Day, and it wanted people to think it was a chicken!
Why did the wolf take so long to cross the road?
It was pretending to be a snail.
Which bug always crosses the road?
A beetle.
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Because it was a zebra crossing.
Why did the engineer cross the road?
Because he looked in the files, and that’s what they did last time.
Why does the tin keep crossing the road?
Because it can.
Why did the sheep cross the road?
To get to the baa-baa shop for a haircut.
Why did the queen cross the road?
To get to coronation street.
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
Why did the corn cross the road?
Because it was being stalked.
Why did the snail take so long to cross the road?
It was feeling sluggish.
Why did the alphabet cross the road?
To get from Point A to Point B.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens didn’t exist yet.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken!
Why did the reindeer cross the road?
Because he was tied to a chicken!
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because it thought it was a chicken.
Why did the fish cross the road?
To get to its school.
Why did the monkey cross the road?
Because the chicken retired.
Why did the rabbit cross the road?
It had to get from hare to there.
Why didn’t the bicycle cross the road?
Because it was two tired!
Why did the horse cross the road?
To get to the apple store.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He had something to cock-a-doodle dooo!
Why did my wife cross the road?
To go back to the same shoe shop we went to three hours ago.
Why did the bunny cross the road?
To go to the hare dresser.
Why did the Communist wait till the last minute to cross the road?
He was Stalin.
Why couldn't the mathematician cross the road?
Because he kept trying to half the distance.
Why did the fox cross the road?
She was chasing the chicken.
Why did the clock cross the road?
It couldn’t wait.
Why did the clown cross the road?
To retrieve his rubber chicken.
Why did the cat cross the road?
Because her owner told her not to do it.
Why did the fish cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why did Hans cross the road alone?
Hans wanted to travel solo.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Why did the spy cross the road?
Because he was never on your side.
Why did the czar cross the road?
To get to his car.
Why did the pillow cross the road?
It was picking up the chicken’s feathers.
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
He didn’t — the road moved back underneath him.
Why did the farmer cross the road?
To get his chicken back.
A Duck is about to cross the road. A chicken runs out to stop him screaming "Don't do it, man - you'll never hear the end of it!"
Why did the nose cross the road?
Because he was tired of getting picked on.
Why did the doctor cross the road?
Hard to say really. Could be any number of reasons.
Why did the dog cross the road?
Because he was chasing the chicken.
What kind of cat always crosses the road?
A jaguar.