It’s so hot I started putting ice cubes in my waterbed.
It’s so hot I saw a heatwave and I waved back.
It’s so hot ice pops are melting in the freezer.
It’s so hot all chocolate is hot chocolate.
It’s so hot even the artificial flowers are dying.
It’s so hot I set the house on fire just to cool off.
It’s so hot I discovered my seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
It’s so hot the cows are producing evaporated milk.
It’s so hot you can pull a leaf off a tree and iron with it.
It’s so hot you can wash and dry your clothes at the same time.
It’s so hot polar bears are wearing sunscreen.
It's so hot out that my sweat is sweating.
It was so hot that I poured boiling water on myself to cool down.
It’s so hot the Statue of Liberty was asked to lower her arm.
It’s so hot outside I just saw two hobbits throw a ring off my roof.
It’s so hot that corn on the stalks starts popping.
It's so hot that all the water buffalo at the zoo evaporated.
It’s so hot your clothes iron themselves.
It’s so hot the catfish are already fried when you catch them.
It’s so hot my campfire lit itself.
It’s so hot that my kite crashed and burned.
It's so hot out that I cleaned my fridge just so I could hang out in my fridge for a while.
It’s so hot McDonald’s is frying burgers on parked cars.
It’s so hot firecrackers light themselves.
It’s so hot that my sprinkler released steam.
It was so hot that my gold jewelry melted.
It’s so hot even my wife’s heart is melting.
It’s so hot that the clams were already steamed when I dug them up.
It's so hot I saw an Amish guy buy an air conditioner.
It’s so hot my thermometer goes up to “Are you kidding me?”
It’s so hot the trees are whistling for the dogs.
It’s so hot the frozen pizza I bought at the grocery store was ready to eat by the time I got home.
It’s so hot I almost called my ex so I could be around something shady.
It's so hot that I went to hell just to cool off.
It’s so hot everyone is wearing sweat pants.
It’s so hot I’m sweating like a politician on election day.
It’s so hot Adam and Eve traded their fig leaves for ice cubes.
It’s so hot chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
It's so hot, I saw a guy with a sign that said, "Will work for shade."
It’s so hot that you can poach eggs in a pool.
It’s so hot that I have taken to leaving the toilet seat up just to get those chilling, icy stares from my wife.
It’s so hot that my chocolate milk is now hot cocoa.
It’s so hot that hot water now comes out of both taps.
It’s so hot you discover that it only takes 2 fingers to drive your car.
It’s so hot fire ants are really on fire.
It’s so hot granny broke wind just to have a little breeze.
It’s so hot they installed a fan in the debt ceiling.
It’s so hot I got condensation on my backside from the water in the toilet bowl.
It’s so hot, when the temperature drops below 95 I start to feel chilly.
It's so hot that you can fry an egg on the sidewalk!