Why did the Communist wait till the last minute to cross the road?
He was Stalin.
Why did the clown cross the road?
To retrieve his rubber chicken.
Why did the dragon cross the road?
He was dragged on by his mum.
Why couldn't the mathematician cross the road?
Because he kept trying to half the distance.
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side!
Why did the farmer cross the road?
To get his chicken back.
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Because it was a zebra crossing.
Why did the fish cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why did the snail take so long to cross the road?
It was feeling sluggish.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He had something to cock-a-doodle dooo!
Why did the bunny cross the road?
To go to the hare dresser.
Why did the czar cross the road?
To get to his car.
Why did the alphabet cross the road?
To get from Point A to Point B.
How long did it take Lancelot to cross the road?
All knight.
Why did the dog cross the road?
Because he was chasing the chicken.
Why did the monkey cross the road?
Because the chicken retired.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
Why did the monster truck drive on the sidewalk?
Because he didn’t want to run over the chicken!
Why did the fox cross the road?
She was chasing the chicken.
Why did the elephant cross the road?
The chicken couldn’t be bothered anymore.
Why did the cat cross the road?
Because her owner told her not to do it.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was playing Fetch with a boomerang.
Why didn’t the flamingo cross the road?
Because he’s not a chicken.
Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
Why did the nose cross the road?
Because he was tired of getting picked on.
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
He didn’t — the road moved back underneath him.
Why did the wolf take so long to cross the road?
It was pretending to be a snail.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was Thanksgiving Day, and it wanted people to think it was a chicken!
Why did the engineer cross the road?
Because he looked in the files, and that’s what they did last time.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens didn’t exist yet.
Why did the horse cross the road?
To get to the apple store.
Why does the tin keep crossing the road?
Because it can.
Why did the goldfish cross the road?
Because the chicken was on holiday.
How do animals know when to cross the road?
The chameleon changes from red to green.
Why did the pillow cross the road?
It was picking up the chicken’s feathers.
Why did the cow cross the road?
So he could go to the MOO-vies.
Why did the potato run across the road?
So it wouldn’t get mashed.
Why did the horse dance while crossing the road?
He was horsing around.