Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 people
Then the grenade exploded.
Waldo once insulted chuck norris.
And we all know how THAT'S going.
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
Chuck Norris plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver... and wins.
Some kids pee their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can pee his name in dry concrete.
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
Chuck Norris has a gun for breakfast at ate a glock every morning.
Chuck Norris has died aged 79.
But Death is too scared to let him know.
Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a roof in his house
Cold and wind don't dare come in.
Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. Too many tsunamis.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It didn’t work.
Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.
When Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity... he got it back.
Chuck refers to himself in the fourth person.
Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
In Pamplona, Spain, the people may be running from the bulls, but the bulls are running from Chuck Norris.
What happens when Chuck Norris lifts Thor Hammer?
The hammer explodes because it is not worthy.
Chuck Norris’ tears can cure you of the coronavirus.
Too bad he doesn’t cry.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real, it's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Chuck Norris drinks napalm to fight his heartburn.
Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will change the spelling.
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
Chuck Norris's Blood Type is AK-47.
Chuck Norris has died.
He has since recovered from this mild inconvenience.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity… twice.
Chuck Norris's computer has no "backspace" button, Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.
When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive. The zombies do.
Chuck Norris doesn't pet any animals. Animals pet themselves when he approaches them.
The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.
Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are now known as giraffes.
When Chuck Norris goes scuba diving
He gives the water the bends.
One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a semi truck as a practical joke.
That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
Champions are the breakfast of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light
Chuck Norris can start a fire with an ice cube.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Naming a bridge after Chuck Norris is a really bad idea
Because no one crosses Chuck Norris.
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
He didn't. The road moved back underneath him.
Chuck Norris doesn't hoard toilet paper.
He's used the same napkin since 1974. He just scares the sh*t out of it.
Chuck Norris can clap with one hand.
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your blood will bleed.