Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
Why does the river have problems remembering things?
Because she is becoming sea nile.
What happens before it starts raining candy?
It sprinkles!
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?
Denial River.
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
Wanna know what I said when I got hit by a water gun?
H2Oww
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.