I met an annoying squid who wanted to become a comedian.
He wouldn’t stop kraken jokes.
Who is Medusa’s cheesy cousin?
Gorgon Zola
I’ve started dating Medusa recently.
Our relationship rocks!
What's the Kraken gonna give you that'll make you laugh uncontrollably?
Ten Tickles!
- Hey, graduate student Minotaur, what are you up to today?
- Not much, just working on my Theseus.
What do you call a titan that can't swim?
Titanic.
Why did king Minos put Minotaur inside a labyrinth?
He wanted to amaze his wife.
These sea monster jokes are so funny.
They had me kraken!
Why did the ad agency hire a hydra?
She knew how to wear many different hats.
What do you call a Minotaur in a playground?
A swing and a myth.
What do Krakens eat?
Fish and ships.
I hear the Minotaur is really stubborn....
He's really bull-headed.
THE KRAKEN: Yes, I'd like to renew my lease, please.
LANDLORD: Re-lease the Kraken!
A sphinx was guarding a road when a traveler walked by.
The sphinx said to the man, "You may pass if you can answer my riddle: What is wider than an ocean, heavier than a mountain, and unbounded by the laws of physics?"
The man thought for a moment and answered, "Imagination."
"Wrong," said the Sphinx. "The answer is your mom."
Never believe minotaurs...
Half of everything they say is bull.
If you think Earth has too few human-animal hybrids, then it behooves you to become a centaur.
Last night, like every night, I dreamt I was half horse, half man.
My shrink says I'm just being self centaured.
What did one sea monster say to the other sea monster when they started their new jobs as sewer inspectors?
- It’s going to be a Nessie job, but let’s get Kraken!
What did the Minotaur order at Starbucks?
Half-calf.
Within the labyrinthine bureaucracy prowls the deadly Adminotaur.
According to Greek mythology, Chiron was a half horse half human doctor.
This made him the Centaur for Disease Control.
What do you call a small Minotaur?
A Minitaur.
What's the similarity between a sailor and a thief?
Both have a phobia for sirens.
What do you call a very active hydra?
Hydradynamic.
I have no idea how so many people didn’t make it out the labyrinth.
It only took me a minotaur two.
Why do Minotaurs make terrible detectives?
Because they hate to go on steak-outs!
What did the minotaur say to the real estate agent?
- Amazing.
What was the most common game played by Greek Gods?
Hydra and seek.
Stealthy minotaurs are always camooflauged.
What do hydras fear the most?
Dehydration!
How did Poseidon greet the sea monster?
- Hey buddy, what's kraken?
I feel like Medusa was in some rocky relationships.
What is Medusa’s favorite cheese?
Gorgonzola.
Why did the kraken eat 5 ships that were carrying potatoes?
Because nobody can eat just one potato ship.
Why are Minotaurs always broke?
Because their loan sharks are always milking them dry!
What did the giant octopus say to the pirate ship?
- What’s Kraken?
What do you call a half man half horse in the middle of an army formation?
The centaur of attention.
I wish medusa would stop objectifying people.
What was it like to fight Medusa?
- At first I was afraid, then I was petrified...
I heard Medusa looked really pretty.
In fact, her looks were stunning.
"If you want to pass this point alive, you must answer my riddle: What goes on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon and on three legs in the evening?" the Sphinx asked.
Oedipus pondered for a moment, "Probably one of those new Pokemones," he finally replied. "There is like 600 of them.
"Fair enough man," spoke the Sphinx. "I can't reasonably expect you to remember all their names. You may pass."
When a Minotaur considers himself an optimist is it that he sees his glass as half-bull?
What would you call a singer who's really scared of medusa?
A rockstar.
Pan wants to lead his kind to rebellion, but...
He can't get no Satyr Faction.
If you encounter a sea monster, you better get Kraken!
What do you call half of a centaur?
A per-centaur.
What do you call a mythical being working in a smoothie store?
Mejuicea.