How do you call football without shoes?
Socker.
I made a snap decision to watch football today
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
[Chips] This is what I call a chip shot.
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?
The coach told him to take a hike!
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
We’ll have a ball.
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
Join us for plenty of play action.
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
Prepare to be bowled over.
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
I feel tail great!
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
What do you call a horse that is good at football?
Neighhhhh-mar.
Case in punt
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
The huddle is real
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?
You’ll be called for past interference!
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
By the seat of one’s punt
The football won’t be the only thing spiked at this party.
I like big punts and I cannot lie
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
Football is one habit I will never kick.