What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
Which cartoon character is the best at baseball?
Homer Simpson.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
Why are frogs great outfielders?
Because they never miss a fly.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
Why was the nice guy such a lousy baseball player?
Because he never got to home base.
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.