Q: What did the tree say to the wind?
A: Leaf me alone
I'm trying to think of a weather pun, but my mind's kinda cloudy now.
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud.
We got the news of a coming flood today. The news was leaked.
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.
The only way bees can fly right through the rain is when they have their yellow jackets on.
There are so many puppies and kitties around the neighbourhood. Perhaps it is because it has been raining cats and dogs for hours.
Whenever someone wishes me to say "Happy Winter," it always leaves me cold.
What’s the difference between a horse and wet weather?
One reigns up and the other rains down.
The winter is the worst time of year for a wedding. The grooms always seem to be getting cold feet.
What do you call a bear that’s stuck out in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
A little boy asks his dad, “Why is it raining? Is the sky sad?”
The dad replies, “Yes, son, the sky is pretty blue.”
What's the weather like in Mexico?
Chili today, hot tamale.
When does soil get rich?
When mother nature makes it rain.
What always goes up whenever the rain comes down? An umbrella.
Why did the woman go outdoors with her purse open?
Because she expected some change in the weather.
Yesterday’s weather forecast predicted freezing rain. However, it turned out to be quite an ice day.
When moving a piece of furniture at the weather station, you'll be needing four casters.
Why didn’t the light rain hit the target?
It just mist.
What’s a bigamist?
It’s what Italians call a thick fog.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Butter
Butter who?
Butter get an umbrella, it looks like it's going to rain!
The best place meteorologists can stop to get a drink on their way home is the isobar.
What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
What's all wet and likes to shake? It's an earthquake on a rainy day.
A man went to the gym today and met up with his new personal rainer.
When it was raining yesterday, I saw a man use ketchup and I got quite shocked. It is only later that I learnt he was taking advantage of the raining cats and hot dogs.
Q: How does a butcher keep his tent up in a strong winds?
A: With steaks!
Wind turbines don’t talk about much. They just shoot the breeze.
What's a king's favorite kind of precipitation?
Hail!
What do you get if you come fourth in the National Weatherman Awards? A precipitation trophy.
Q: What do you call a windmill swallowed up by a tornado?
A: A wind meal
This very fair weather actually makes me feel like a feather!
Did you hear of the story of the tornado? There is a twist at the end.
Q: Why did the wind turbine blush?
A. It broke wind.
I don’t know if I got hit by freezing rain but it sure hurt like hail.
Thunderstorms are shrewd investors. They put their money in a combination of frozen and liquid assets.
Due to bad weather, I won't be attending the Meteorology Convention.
I'm gonna take a rain-check.
Because it was so foggy at my father’s funeral, he was buried in the wrong plot.
It was a grave mist-stake.
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
Our souls will rain forever.
Q: What is a wind turbine’s favorite musical group?
A: Air Supply
What did the rainwater say as it ran off the road.
Grate.
What do you call an English rock band playing in the mist? Foghat.
Why do cows lie on each other in the rain?
To keep each udder dry.
I over boiled some venison broth earlier.
It was deerly mist.
When can 3 elephants stand under 1 umbrella and not get wet?
When it’s not raining.
It started raining coins outside today.
I guess it’s just climate change.
What goes hiss, swish, hiss swish every time it rains? A windscreen viper.
What's the wind's favourite colour?
Blew
Q: What do you call a gust of wind that blows a tall guys onto a basketball court?
A: The NBA draft
A bunch of chill-dren from the neighborhood played all afternoon in the snow.