Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was garden variety.
Did you hear about the flower who joined Tinder?
He just wants somebudy to love.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
There are lots of funny jokes about mushrooms that can give you stitches. However, you need to be patient enough because they need time to grow on you.
Mushroom puns are the best for any occasion. They are very portabella.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
What do you call it when you plant a tree at each corner of a house?
A fourest.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
How many lips does a flower have?
Tulips.
What plant do both Spaniards and French agree is the best?
Seaweed.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
What did the flower say after he told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg!
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
What does the youngest flower child say?
Last bud not least!
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
What do plants and homies have in common?
I love watching them grow.
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
What do you call a gangsta snowman?
Froze-T.
What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?
She rose above it.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
If trees could kill you, they wood.