Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
Cell phones are a static symbol.
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.