Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz?
He wasn’t too bright.
My friend has a cold storage device that will discuss philosophical issues. It's a deep freezer.
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
I watched it all unfold.
How many software engineers do you need to change a light bulb?
None – it’s a hardware problem.
How are air conditioners like humans?
Both get turned on when it's hot.
Our landlord knocked on our door today and said that if we didn't pay rent, they'd turn off the heater tomorrow.
It was our last warming.
I took my friends watch that had an LED flashlight on it.
Now it's my time to shine.
Electric razors are the best thing since sliced beard.
What do you call a worm that chews up power cords? An electro-maggot.”
I started ironing my clothes...
To de-crease how bad I looked
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity? It’s natural.”
Always knock on the fridge before opening.
Just in case there is a salad dressing
My brother just admitted that he broke my favourite lamp.
I'm not sure I'll be able look at him in the same light ever again
What would a barefoot man get if he stepped on an electric fence? A pair of shocks.”
My Co-Worker came in today exhausted from staying up all night watching Television comedies...
She Satired.
I went to shop for a toaster. The sailsman showed me all the fancy features.
I said "wow, that's cool!"
And he replied, "Sorry ma'am,it can only warm"
TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
Why do Russian teapots have to go to bed early?
Because samovars have to work tomorrow.
My blender is a bit forgetfull. It keep breaking the ice with me.
My wife said she'll leave me if I don't stop the laundry punsץ
So from today I'm detergent to be better.
Why did the man eat the light bulb?
He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.
I really have to force myself to get through this book on friction.
What do you call a regular potato broadcasting sports?
A common tater.
Just opened my water bill and my electricity bill at the same time… I was shocked.”
What is a jedi electrician’s favorite tool?
His lightsaber.
I gave my wife a lamp for our anniversary.
Someone’s getting LED tonight.
Why can’t dishwashers do parallel dancing?
They’re never in sink.
They call the first episode of a TV show a "Pilot", because anyone can fly a plane for a couple seconds....
But you have to prove your jokes can land.
I caught my friend harassing some electricity. I told him it was an abuse of power.”
I stopped ironing my clothes.
I have less pressing concerns.
I can't find my humidifier anymore...
I have reported it misting.
I once convinced my younger brother to swallow a small lamp.
I got in so much trouble but it was worth it to see his little face light up.
I keep scores of my favorite iceboxes.
They're my refrigeRATINGS.
The recipe said, “set the oven to 180 degrees”...
Now I can’t open the door because it faces the wall.
Who's the most popular kitchen appliance?
The freezer, he's really cool
What do you call laundry detergent on the top shelf?
High tide.
Toasters were the first form of pop-up notifications.
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions? I haven’t seen you in light-years.”
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz? He wasn’t too bright.”
I can’t afford to pay for electricity anymore; these are some dark times.
What do you call a fake pastry?
A prop tart!
Why do quitters do all the laundry?
They always throw in the towel!
My wife is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with acting like a TV news anchor.
More on this after the break.
Why was the broken refrigerator angry?
Because he couldn’t keep his cool.
How many museum curators does it take to change a light bulb?
6. 1 changes it and the other 5 preserve, display, and celebrate the old model.
A cow not being on the grill for very long is a rare occurrence.
There's a programme about the history of perfume on TV tonight.
It's on at 8pm on Chanel Number 5!
What did Communists use to light their houses before candles? Electricity.
What do you call an Incarcerated late night TV show host?
Jimmy Felon.
Who takes care of saunas?
Humid Resources.