Ups Jokes

Little Johnny Buys a Horse
Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?" His father replied, "Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Johnny, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom."
I tried riding a camel instead of a horse once.
It had its ups and downs.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
"Look, our relationship is like doing push ups on your knees. It's just not working out"
What's the best way to force a male to do sit ups? Put the remote control between his toes.
Would you sit on my feet while I do push ups?