Last night my house was broken into, and all they stole was soap.
Dirty criminals. Cops say they got away clean.
I bought some clear, liquid hand-soap today.
Got home and realized that I can't use it...
My hands are solid, and opaque.
What do you call pig shampoo?
Hogwash.
What do you call a guy that has good manners, bad hygiene, and an affinity for word play?
PunGent.
What is the invisible man's favorite shampoo?
Clear.
What's more important, shampoo or conditioner?
Is it the foamer or the lather?
My friend said he got a package containing soaps from around the world...
But it was a pack of lyes.
If your hair is long enough when shampooing...
Does Head & Shoulders then become Knees & Toes?
People who take good care of their hair with just shampoo and water...
Must love it unconditionally.
Police are appealing to the man who stole all the soap from the supermarket
To come clean
What did the clean DNA say to the dirty DNA?
Hygiene!
I wanted to do the dishes and wasn’t sure where I put the dish soap.
Then it Dawned on me.
My friend claims he works in a soap factory, adding a key ingredient to the process...
He's a lye-er.
What did the showerhead say to the conditioner?
"Get outta hair!"
I got shampoo in my eyes while showering today.
My husband said, "That must've been an eye-soapening experience."
I got tear-free soap in my eye.
It hurts like heck but at least I’m not crying.
A sales guy tried to sell me on a new preparation to wash my hair with, which supposedly contains the excrements of some very special rainforest animal or whatever.
I think it was Scampoo.
No matter what shampoo I use, I can’t seem to get rid of my dandruff.
It’s a real head scratcher.
Slightly disappointed that the makers of the shampoo, "Head and Shoulders" have not followed up with a bodywash called, "Knees and toes."
My shampoo bottle was empty. I turned to the only other bottle in the shower and said, "help me body wash...
You're my only soap!"
What did one soap molecule say to the other soap molecule in prison?
"Get out. This is micelle"
The directions for my new dandruff shampoo are very confusing.
It's a real head-scratcher!
Why do astronomers put beef in their shampoo?
For meatier showers.
I used to be addicted to soap.
I’m clean now.
I need more soap puns!
Because all the good ones keep slipping through my fingers.
Why didn't the lemon juice like the soap?
Because he was basic.
I don't use shampoo when I wash my hair.
I'm a man - I use real poo.
I go through so much shampoo it's just ridiculous!
I don't know, maybe my head is bigger than most but it does say to use a cap full.
My Dad always told me to stand on a bottle of shampoo at job interviews...
That way I'd be 'head & shoulders' above the competition.
Thieves broke into my house and stole everything but my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant...
Dirty Bastards.
Many people believe liquid soap is more hygienic than soap bars.
Don't listen to them, it is only a slippery soap argument.