What kind of doctor checks ghost poo?
A ghost-roenterologist.
I couldn't tell if the dog truly had to poop or if he was just faking it to go outside.
Turns out he was full of s**t.
People who pretends to never go taking a dump are full of sh**.
Poo jokes...
Are funny sh**.
What do you call a small turd?
A dumpling.
Why did the baker go to the toilet?
Because he kneaded a poo.
What do you call a turd made by the captain of a vessel?
The Captain's Log
A man walks into a zoo, there was only one animal in the zoo.
It was a Shitzu.
How do people take a dump when, well, nobody gives a s**t?
Why did the painter take a dump on the floor?
It was the work of fart.
What did the poop shoveler say when he quit his job?
"I'm dung with this sh*t!"
Where does Batman go to take a dump?
To the batroom of course!
Why didn’t the teacher want to fart in front of anyone?
He was a private tootor.
If you poop in your sleep...
You have sleep crapnea.
I’ve been working on my poop art recently...
It’s pretty sh**.
Never fart in an apple store
They don't have windows.
"Is it the tar that smells like farts?"
"No, it was your asphalt"
Do people have strange scents of humor if they laugh at their own farts?
My farts don’t smell, they don’t have noses.
You wanna know how I remember every poop I take?
I keep a log.
Where do cow farts come from?
The dairy air.
If you take a dump on a stump...
Does that make it a toilet tree?
Dung beetle walks into a bar....
"Is this stool taken?"
Turns out our washing machine DOES have a “baby poop” setting.
It’s called “Heavy Doody”
I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog poo. Someone came up behind me and slipped as well. Trying to sympathize, I said "I just did that!"
They slapped me and said "use the toilet next time"
This morning my daughter came to me, looking concerned. She said, “Dad, I need a new bum”.
I asked, “And why is that sweetheart?”
She said, “Because mine has a crack in it!”
What do you call a cop standing on dog poo?
Officer on doody!
I found a side job collecting dog poo from people's yards.
It's not much, but business is picking up.
A dung beetle spent an entire day rolling a ball of dung up a hill, only to have it fall down to the other side...
Needless to say, he lost his sh*t.
All farts...are laughing gas.
What type of poo smells good?
Shampoo.
Why was the dung beetle mad at the store clerk?
Because the clerk sold him shampoo.
How would you call a tutle's poo?
Turdle.
What do you call a person who starts their own cow poop business?
An entre-manure.
The scariest day of my life was when we ran into a bear taking a dump inside our campsite.
That sh** was in
A zoo employee was injured when a monkey threw flaming poo at him.
He suffered from turd debris burns.
I tried to make a poo but could only squeeze out a p**.
I must be missing some bowels.
Cut a piece of poo into three pieces today.
Now I have turds.
What do you get when you fart on your wallet?
Gas Money.
what's the best day of the week to poop?
saTURDay.
I've stopped paying $6 for sham poo
After all, I make my own DIY genuine poo every morning.
What do you call someone who acts like a piece of fish poop?
A bassturd.
Scientists have just discovered a fossilized Dinosaur fart...
They say it’s a blast from the past!
What do you call coffee made from poo?
Crappuccino.
I asked the kids to pickup the dog poo out the back
They did a crap job.
Why does no one react when the Queen farts?
Because it’s a Noble Gas!
I was at the doctor, complaining about constipation. The doc seemed upset with me. He said,
"You don't give a s**t, do you?"
When your poo goes into the sewers, it's not yours anymore.
It becomes pooblic domain.
I always take a dump at 11:59 PM. That way, when the clock strikes midnight it’s the same sh**, different day.
I was walking along when I saw a pile of dog sh** on the side of the street, a little further on I saw an identical one.
That was a crazy deja poo.