Funny News Headlines

Enjoy the funniest news headline one liners, most of which come from real newspapers!

Funny News Headlines

Goldfish Is Saved From Drowning
Grandmother Of Eight Makes Hole In One
Foul Play Suspected In Death Of Man Found Handless, Bound And Hanged
CRIME: Sheriff Asks For 13.7% Increase
Child’s Death Ruins Couple’s Holiday
British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
Dealers Will Hear Car Talk At Noon
Hospitals Are Sued By 7 Foot Doctors
Crash courses for private pilots - The Daily Telegraph
Smokers Are Productive, But Death Cuts Efficiency
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
An Australian army vehicle worth $74,000 has gone missing after being painted with camouflage.
Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers
Alzheimer's Center Prepares For An Affair To Remember.
Federal Agents raid gun shop, find weapons
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
“I Thought He Was Going to Kill Me”: One Woman’s Harrowing Misunderstanding of How Haircuts Work
30 Year Friendship Ends At Alter
Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
Filming in cemetery angers residents - The Evening Standard
Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing In Killing
Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping Feed The Needy
Four Battered In Fish And Chip Shop
Kicking Baby Considered Healthy
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges.
Autos killing 110 a day, let's resolve to do better
Hypochondriacs aren't OK
Republicans Turned Off By Size Of Obama’s Package
Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
Miners Refuse to Work after Death.
Milk Drinkers are Turning to Powder.
Lawmen From Mexico Barbecue Guests
Man is Fatally Slain.
Two Convicts Evade Noose, Jury Hung
Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures
Death Causes Loneliness, Feeling Of Isolation
Is There A Ring Of Debris Around Uranus?
Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe out Literacy.
Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
Flashier Great Tits Produce Stronger Sperm, Bird Study Shows.
Juvenile Court Tries Shooting Defendant
County to Pay $250,000 to Advertise Lack of Funds
Gas rig men grilled by villagers - The Oxford Times
Have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts.
Bodies Needed To Look After Graveyard
Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
Blind Woman Gets New Kidney From Dad She Hasn't Seen In Years
Circumcision Now Seen As Pointless.
Miners Refuse To Work After Death