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How to Deal With Feelings of Parental "Burnout"

As caregivers for our children, we often devote all our attention to them and the responsibilities that come along with them. We put in a great deal of effort to support and raise our kids to see them thrive, just as we have imagined. However, this can take a significant toll on our own lives that we may not fully realize, leading to a challenging crisis that is hard to overcome. This is known as parental burnout, a problem that can affect anyone, and it is crucial to have a comprehensive understanding of it.

What IS parental burnout?

Parental burnout is a condition that affects both new and seasoned parents, where they feel an overwhelming and continual sense of responsibility due to their role as caregivers. This sensation persists for a prolonged period, leaving them unable to alleviate it and find solace or satisfaction. This, in turn, leads to mental and physical deterioration. Unlike burnout caused by prolonged work hours or job dissatisfaction, parental burnout is a result of the lifelong commitment parents have made, which has irreversible consequences. As a result, when parents find themselves in situations that may indicate the start or progression of a parenting crisis, it is essential to learn how to manage it to overcome it safely.

parental burnout

What causes the burnout crisis?

he reasons that lead to a crisis due to burnout vary from parent to parent - some people reach the breaking point as a result of continuous care and concern for a sick child or a child with behavior problems that require extra attention and a lot of energy investment; There are those whose crisis and burnout result from the lack of cooperation on the part of the spouse and inequality in the burden; Or in some cases, new parents who for the first time in their lives have on their shoulders the weight of the responsibility of caring for and taking care of the needs of another person. Each of these circumstances can cause burnout and severe feelings of anxiety that exhaust the parent's soul and require continuous patience and extremely flexible patience.
 

Since parental burnout is a gradual process, many parents do not feel in real time the impact and risk involved in such a crisis, but this only begins to seep in when the signals for this become more tangible and destructive - and therefore it is very important to know them.

parental burnout

What is the effect of burnout in parenting and what are the "red flags"?

1. It affects our social life - in the midst of a crisis of parental burnout, our "fuse" becomes shorter than ever. Also, this period brings up and floods us with feelings and anger that were not visible before. We may lash out at our spouses, children or friends and show very little tolerance for mistakes, even if they are small and marginal. Often, anxiety and concern for others can cause us to cut off contact with our immediate environment and friends, resulting in long-term loneliness.

2. Has emotional consequences - as a direct continuation of the impact on the social sphere, the parental crisis may also overwhelm us with emotional disorders, such as anxiety, which often stems from the fear that to the outside world, you are perceived as not good enough parents, spouses or friends. The feeling that you are disappointing those around you can in extreme situations lead to the appearance of symptoms of depression, a feeling of helplessness and low self-esteem which sometimes stems from unrealistic expectations that you place on yourself.

parental burnout

3. Affects cognition and function - When experiencing parental burnout, this feeling can have a negative impact on both our function and cognition. The emotional effects can cause us to suffer from functional and cognitive issues, which may be a direct result of burnout. The anxiety, stress, and worry that we feel can drain our energy and cause us to lose focus, leading to memory problems, difficulty concentrating, and poor sleep quality. This can manifest in early waking, late sleeping, and fragmented sleep. The lack of regular and quality sleep can then result in cognitive problems and even confusion and forgetfulness.

4. Affects our physical health - 

As the crisis persists and worsens, it may have negative effects on our physical health. These effects include persistent headaches that begin in the morning and last throughout the day due to a lack of energy and a disrupted lifestyle. Additionally, emotional stress and mental strain can lead to psychosomatic issues such as pain, constipation or other digestive problems for some individuals. 

Why should we never ignore parental burnout?

While being a parent is often described as a fulfilling and empowering experience, the challenges that come with it can sometimes overshadow the positive aspects. If you or someone you know is experiencing symptoms of parental burnout, it's important to acknowledge and address the issue rather than repress or deny it. Failing to do so can ultimately harm the family unit that one has worked hard to build. A 2019 study conducted at Stanford University found a clear connection between parental burnout and neglect, avoidance of responsibility, and even extreme cases of violence against children and suicidal tendencies. To deal with burnout in parenting, it's important to take proactive steps toward self-care and support.

parental burnout

So how does one deal with this?

Dealing with issues related to humans does not have a simple solution because everyone's brain works differently and perceives things in their unique way. However, certain guidelines can be followed to at least minimize the symptoms of a parental crisis. It is important to acknowledge that being perfect parents is not necessary. The pressure to achieve perfection can lead to high expectations, fears, low self-esteem, and eventual burnout. To achieve your goals, you should not hesitate to seek help from your environment, such as your parents, friends, or spouse. Asking for assistance is not a sign of failure.
 
It's important to maintain a balance between being a parent and taking care of yourself. This means taking breaks, eating a healthy diet, and committing to regular exercise to reduce stress and improve daily functioning. Additionally, it's important to nurture your emotional well-being by confiding in loved ones and seeking support from other parents who may be experiencing similar challenges.

 

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